waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
