dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize