Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
