I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize