walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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