Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
