I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
