I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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