Porn is love you can see.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
