im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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