Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
