Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
