I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
