If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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