how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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