she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
