he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
