The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
