idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
