The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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