So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You can't motorboat a personality
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My cat gives me a boner
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
