giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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