Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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