How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
