i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
third nipple confirmed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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