Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
