My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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