if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
