The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
