i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
