i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
