come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She bit a glass in half.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize