she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize