What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
