1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
