You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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