margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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