She's JV to your varsity
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
