It's Friday. Sex?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
