She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
