You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that's an acceptable place to lick
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
