you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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