I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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