Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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