Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
And then my night got REAL pukey
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
