I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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