I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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