The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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