apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
