You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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