I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
