I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
