Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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