you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
