escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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