im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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