last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
