if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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