hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
