Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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