Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
