Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
